It’s that time of the month again, kiddos! Longtail it on down to the Lucky Lab at Hawthorne & 9th this Thursday, 10/16 around 5:30-ish for some great beer. Oh, and food and bikey bike talk.
If you come from out of town (like you, Mr. Snakebite), and mention this ad before I’ve already spent all my money, I’ll buy you a beer!
Note that this event is NOT for women only. Men are welcome and even encouraged!
Look at me, all into politics & stuff …
Remember when I told you that the longtail club was going to meet? Well, they did. We did. And here we are. That’s all of us except for the one taking the picture (thanks!). Oh, and Mike stopped by for about half a second, and Todd rode by without stopping; neither one was around at picture time.
Thanks to everyone for showing up making fun conversation, and showing off your bikes.
Special thanks to Martina for inventing the club and organizing the meetings.
In the spirit of journalistic integrity (huh?) I should say that I made up the name ‘Portland Longtail Club’ because I don’t know its official name, or if it even has one. In the spirit of proselytizing, I’ll say: We are meeting every 3rd Thursday at the Hawthorn Lucky Lab; BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
Found parked outside my office: ANOTHER BIG DUMMY! Whose is it? Is it yours?
Can you carry stuff on your bike? Like a ladder, or a couple other bikes, or a few kids, or two weeks worth of groceries? Do people look at your bike and go, Wow, that’s cool. What is it?
Well my friend, if that’s the way you roll, come on out to our first gang meeting. Yes you do too want to be in a gang - don’t pretend you don’t! This gang is being organized by the inimitable Martina Fahrner, and the first meeting will be at the Lucky Lab at 9th & Hawthorne on Thursday, August 28th at 5:00-ish. I’m not sure, but I heard that Martina will be buying beer for everyone. True, I heard it from the voices in my head, but you never know.
Here’s Martina’s original email invite, reprinted without permission:
Ok,
So I would like to arrange a BAHM (Big Ass Hauling Mamas)/PUB (Parent Utility bikes)/Xultant (xtracycle cult member) meeting at the Lucky Lab at a family friendly time (5:00 ish) on Thursday, Aug 29. What do you guys think?Best,
M
What do I think? I think it’s fantastic! I think I will definitely be there! Except that I actually can’t because I’ll be on vacation at the beach that week. Aaarrrrggghhhh! Oh well, I will definitely make the second meeting because I love hanging with my utility biker peeps, and Downtown Cupcake Brown and I love being in a gang. Plus we never turn down free beer if we can help it. Oops, did I insinuate that there would be free beer again?
How about one?
How about 2?
I don’t know how much these guys weigh, but I’m betting it’s over the 200 pounds Surly and Xtracycle say is the limit!
And yes, they are actually riding my Downtown Cupcake Brown, having a blast. This was taken at the Bridge Pedal Expo where I was volunteering for Clever Cycles as a Booth Bunny … OK, Booth Babe … all right, all right, Booth Bitch … yeah, that’s probably better. Anyway, I spent the afternoon showing off Cupcake and making Xtracycle converts. Nothing’s more fun than sharing my passion with strangers!
Oh, and by the way, these guys are 3 local frame builders, but I don’t remember which guy is which:
Last night I was at Clever Cycles getting Downtown Cupcake Brown her free 30 day tuneup, and I spied another Big Dummy sitting around waiting for … I knew not what. When I asked whose it was, Mike, Colin and Tyler told me it was going to a woman in North Carolina. Then Todd popped his head in and said, You sold that bike! She reads xtrasue and wants one because you love yours so much!
Naturally, I thought the best thing to do would be to take pictures of it and post them here. I am completely thrilled to know that my Big Dummy/Xtracycle love has spread to foreign countries! And I say that with love because I lived in NC for 9 and a half years (2.5 in Greensboro and 7 in Boone) and I adore North Carolina. Ahhhhh, Boone. I’d just as soon be in Boone. Ahhhhh, Boone.
So, dear NC reader, whoever you are, send me a comment! Who are you? Where do you live? Send me a picture of you and your new baby!
Did you ever wonder if an Xtracycle would fit in the back of a Trooper? Well, wonder no more, my friends: it will!
The other day, a certain someone, whom I must love very much, asked to be rescued from a too hot, too hilly and too ambitious bike ride, so I busted out the PBK (Polar Bear Killer) and knightinshiningarmored right over. Much to my amazement, the Marin Novato equipped Xtracycle fit right in the back with very little effort and no disassembly.
I’m really not very politically minded, which is probably why I always seem to hook up with people who are. Anyway, I got an email at work last week about some sort of meet and greet deal with Earl Blumenauer in the board room at 2:30. Surprisingly, I had heard of him before. I knew he was a bikey bike supporter from an article I saw on Bike Portland. And according to the email, he’s a congressman. Or a senator. Are those the same thing? Like I said, I don’t really keep up. But I thought, what the hell, it’s an hour off work, and maybe he’ll talk about bikes, which would be cool. Plus, when I told the GF about the meeting, she said, I love him! so I knew he was OK.
So I show up to the boardroom at the appointed time and grab a prime seat near the door. I don’t know how long the meeting will be, but I have a 3:30 hair cut appointment that I don’t want to miss. Incidentally, somebody said that those boardroom chairs cost $2600 apiece. Are you freakin’ kidding me???
So Earl shows up (spoiler: I’m calling him Earl because we’re buds now), gets introduced by the CEO, and then suggests that we go around the room and each say who we are, what our job is, where we live, where we grew up, and what kind of things we’d like to hear about from him. How ’bout that! A politician wants to understand his audience! I was number two in the line around the table, and I said, Hi I’m Sue, I’m the webmaster [...] and I’d love to hear anything you want to say about bikes. Other people had more specific questions. A couple guys were clearly NOT fans, and they just wanted to yell at him about why he was not in favor of drilling for oil in Alaska. Some people wanted to know his plans for medical care, education, making MAX safer … all kinds of crap. I was all, blah blah blah just talk about bikes, K? but I kept my running commentary to myself. Except for posting it on my blog later (now).
Well, Mr. Squeaky Wheel got most of the grease and we heard all about how getting all the oil out of Alaska is a bad idea. Or a good idea, depending on who you believe. Personally, my highly uninformed opinion is that we should spend the money on improving modes of transportation that don’t use gas. Like BIKING. Then he spent a little time talking about MAX (that’s our light rail system, for you out-of-towners) and how it would probably become safer if fares were checked regularly, because it’s probably the freeloaders who are the main perps.
You understand that I’m paraphrasing everything and slanting it towards me, right? That is, after all, what media moguls such as myself are meant to do.
OK, enough of the meeting recap. Let’s get to the good part. The meeting ended just in time for me to make my haircut. I went back to my desk to get my haircut shirt, and then out to get my bike. When I got to the elevator lobby, one elevator’s door was closing, and I saw just Earl and his assistant in it. Sweet! I lunged for the elevator, jammed my arm in the hole, and said, Can I come with you? as the door opened back up. Sure, they said - probably because I didn’t call him a dumbass in the meeting, unlike some other people did in not so many words.
Of course, when alone with them, I didn’t know what to say. Luckily, he’s a politician, so he engaged me easily. He remembered what job I said I do. I said something dumb like Boy, that guy sure was pissed about drilling in Alaska. He said something back which I forget. Then I said the dumbest thing ever - Are you parked in the parking garage? Now, my thought there was that I wanted to know if we could keep walking together (since that was where I was going) or if this was the moment we had to part. He said, No, we walked. I said, Oh, duh! Of course I remember now that your office is 2 blocks away, and you don’t drive. My bike is in the parking garage, that’s why I was asking. Then he stopped, turned to me said, Bless you! and shook my hand. I guess because I was riding not driving. Or maybe because he wanted to ease my feeling of social awkwardness for asking a dumb question. Either way, he made a fan.
Well, there you have it - the story of how Earl Blumenauer and I became buds and why he blessed me.
Well the Southeast side of Portland
Is the bikest part of town
And if you go down there you might become aware
Of a bike called Cupcake Brown
Now Cupcake ain’t no trouble
You see she rides like a cloud of air
And all the lycra posers shoutin holy moses
And all the fixies call her sir
‘Cause she’s Downtown Cupcake Brown
Funnest bike in the whole damn town
Funner than a junkyard trike
Sweeter than a motor bike
Now Cupcake she a lover
She loves to go most anywhere
And if you treat her well she’ll let you ring her bell
And she will gladly take you there
She got a sexy curvy top tube
And a great big oval boom
She got two sets of bars and I don’t need no cars
She got plenty a’ zip zip zoom
‘Cause she’s Downtown Cupcake Brown
Funnest bike in the whole damn town
Funner than a junkyard trike
Sweeter than a motor bike
Now Cupcake she can haul stuff
Groceries lumber bikes and kids
And if you slam on the brakes you better know the stakes
‘Cause oh my god she skids
And she’s Downtown Cupcake Brown
Funnest bike in the whole damn town
Funner than a junkyard trike
Sweeter than a motor bike
PS Chords can be found here for your convenience: http://xtrasue.com/tab/downtown_cupcake_brown.txt
So I was talking to my friend Hollie this afternoon, on the computer, and she mentioned something about her Flickr. When I went to check it out, who should I see there, but me! The cool part, though, and the whole reason for this post, is a comment by some dude named Dylster about a picture of me test riding my Big Dummy at Clever Cycles.
Here’s what Dylster said:
“The Dummy actually comes with an invisible box of Joy. Once you start riding a Dummy, the box opens and you get this perpetual grin across your face.”
Dylster, you are one smart cookie. I think I’ll start stalking you. I mean following you on Twitter. Or checking out your Flickr at the least!
Last night, on my way home from work, I happened upon a bunch of people with their bikes in the Ladd’s circle right by Palio. Palio has awesome bagels, by the way, and the owner is a helpful saint. Anyway, I stopped and asked somebody which ride they were about to embark on, and they told me it was the History Ride. I had read about it online earlier in the day, and it didn’t take much encouragement to get me to abandon the grocery shopping I had been planning and tag along. Thanks for the encouragement!
So we headed out, going in some direction, and I was so busy making new friends and reveling in my most excellent Big Dummy, that after 30 seconds I had no idea where we were. We stopped on some corner, scooched up tight and listened to some guy tell (I know, I’d make a great reporter, the way I remember all the details, right?) us about Dr. Hawthorne and his insane asylum which used to be where the Hawthorne & 39th Fred Meyer’s is now. Then we went down some more streets and ended up on the Eastbank Esplanade. At this point, I actually knew where I was. Another guy - or was it the same guy as the first guy? - told us about Mr. Benson and the bubblers and the flood of 90-something, and the art of the Esplanade. Next we rode North on the Esplanade and stopped just shy of the Steele Bridge. Do Hawthorne and Steele both end in e? I never know. Then we went up the ramp and North on Williams, which I know because we passed Pix. We kept going, and stopped at a park and then another park. We turned right on Rosa Parks, went around a little triangle, and ended the ride at Good Neighbor Pizzeria on the corner of Dekum and Durham. All the best rides end with pizza and beer, you know. I remember looking at the street signs and wondering, “Hmmm, I wonder where this corner of Dekum and Durham actually is?”
This ride was full of excellent friendly people and one excellent friendly dog. As is my habit, I can only remember the dog’s name: Kansas. Hi, Kansas! Some of the people kindly let me ride back to Southeast with them, since I was lost. They kind of were too, but one had a map. And the leaders (there were 3 of them) were incredibly well educated about Portland, the greatest city on Earth. Thanks to the leaders and the riders for yet another great ride!
Friday night we rode in Portland’s First Ever Kidical Mass. What a blast! Angela Koch was the ride leader, and with very little advertising, she managed to attract about 50 people to this event. We stormed through the North Park Blocks and all around the Pearl, blocking traffic and stopping Polar Bear Killers in their tracks. OK, ’stormed’ might be a bit strong for describing a ride where a good portion of the bikes had training wheels, but we were storming in spirit if not flesh.
After the storming, we all deserved a treat, so we headed over to Ben and Jerry’s. Then, right next to Ben and Jerry’s, what to my wandering eyes should appear? YES! CUPCAKE JONES! Oh. My. God. I had the best cupcake EVER - the Downtown Chocolate Brown. Not only was amazingly delicious, it was named after me. Sort of. And I’m thinking of naming my bike after it. Seriously. It was that good. My Big Dummy is the Downtown Chocolate Brown of bikes.
Now back to the topic at hand: Kidical Mass. Big ups to all the drivers who stopped and patiently waited for us to make it through intersections! And even to you Polar Bear Killer drivers who were forced to stop by the likes of Jonathon Maus (of BikePortland.org fame), some kid with blonde dreads, and myself. ‘Prec. And speaking of Jonathon Maus, did you see his write up of Kidical Mass? He has a ton of pictures and a movie. And guess who is featured prominently in said pictures and even interviewed in said movie? That’s right - me and my little squirrels and their sqirrely mom! Check it.
Here is my own video of the auspicious event and, coincidentally, my YouTube debut:
(Oh, and make sure your sound is turned on so you can hear the soundtrack.)
*** WARNING: GUSHING AHEAD ***
If my old Trextracycle was Sex on Wheels, then this Big Dummy is Sex on Clouds. [Thanks to Nick for the cloud metaphor.] The ride is so smooth and steady and effortless that I enter a dream state every time I mount it. It’s like a glide, not a ride.
Colin did a stellar job with the build. It shifts flawlessly and instantaneously. Braking is smooooooth. So smooth that I can steer the bike with my left hand, steer two 65 lb. dogs with my right hand and right foot, and still easily control my velocity (that would be direction and speed for any non physics majors in the house).
Here’s a picture of my favorite tube. It’s exquisite, don’t you think? I’m told that most people don’t have favorite tubes, and I’ve never had one before, so the Big Dummy must just inspire that kind of thing. In case it’s not obvious, I’m referring to the large flat-oval tube on the bottom there, aka the chain stay. Look how sexy that is! It’s a work of art, I tell you. You might need to see it in person to see what I mean.
You may have noticed by now that the wheels are smaller than your average twenty-six inchers. Yep, they’re twenty-four inchers. That’s because I’m short, and the smallest Big Dummy frame is a 16 inch. It turned out to fit me perfectly! Props to Dean for that, he’s the one who first suggested it to me. I was hesitant, but I knew it would be the only way to make the BD fit between my petite legs. … OK, short-and-so-super-strong-tree-trunkish legs. I don’t think I notice that the wheels are smaller when I ride, unless they’re making it more plush. It is a super plush ride; it reminds me of a certain motor vehicle I may have once owned (and may still, I’m not saying) when it was new. If it had heat seaters, it would be the Trooper of Bikes.
Did you notice the Nitto Albatross bars? And did you know that I wanted On-One Mary bars? Well, the Mary bars didn’t get here in time for the build, so some brilliant Clever Cycles employee (don’t know which one) put some temporary Albatrosses (Albatri?) bars on in the mean time. Because I’m, you know, me, I made it loud and clear to anyone who would listen that I hated them. After 1.5 minutes of riding with them. What? Snap judgements? Me? Nahhhhh. Apparently, I’m good at snap judging people (yes I am too), but not handle bars. I’m starting to really dig the Albatroi! When the Marys get here, I’ll try them (for more than a minute and a half this time), and I may have a difficult decision to make. Props to Todd, because he’s the one who kept telling me that I’d like them, and I kept thinking he was crazy. He’s also the one who told me I’d enjoy running my Big Apples with low pressure, and I scoffed at that, too. Then one day I checked the pressure and it turned out I was running and loving them at 15psi! I pumped them up to their max, 60, and now they’re not nearly as cushy. That was on my Trextracycle (too bad I didn’t think of that name until the bike was dismembered and sold for parts); the BD has it’s tires probably at thier max of 55, but even so it rides a million times smoother than the old bike. I think I’ll let them lose air naturally for now, and then I’ll probably settle on some middle number.
So I’ve had the bike approximately 51.5 hours now, and already 3 random strangers have taken test rides on it. I really love sharing the love! The first two people were eating at the same sit-outside restaurant as we were, and very politely asked if they could check out our bikes (my Big Dummy and L’s Marin Novato Xtracycle). We got to talking, and I liked them right away (see, good people judgment skills), so I encouraged them both to take a test ride. He went first, she went second, and they declined to ride together on it. The third person was a dude I met at Clever Cycles today. He was bringing in his X for something or other, and it had weird holes in the snap deck, so I asked him about it. He told me the previous owner had some kind of 4-stroke engine attached there. Wow. I pointed out my Big Dummy to him (really, it just happened to come up in conversation!) and he said, ‘Oh! I’ve seen your blog - I recognize those stoker bars. My wife started reading it, and now I do too.” Holy wow-maybe-there-are-more-than-three-readers, Batman! He and his friend were both very nice guys. 
Naturally, I asked if he wanted to ride it, and of course he did. I told him to watch his knees (’cause my bike is too small for him), and off he rode. When he came back his friend asked him how it rode, and he said, “It’s like riding on two clouds.” He nailed it in a beautiful metaphor (I know, it’s really a simile, but the word ‘metaphor’ is more pleasing to my palate). Thanks!
OK, the last thing I want to mention here (or maybe not, now that I think about it) is the headlight. That thing ROCKS. No longer am I constrained to the daylight! It’s super bright and if I aim it at the ground just right, it looks like a loaf of bread. Plus it works off the front hub generator. No batteries - it just works. It’s like the Mac of lights. In fact, the whole bike is like the Mac of Bikes. Maybe I’ll call it iDummy. Nah, probably not.
OK, the really last thing I want to mention, just in case you or anyone you know is thinking about getting a Big Dummy or Xtracycle with 24″ wheels, is that the standard kickstand is about an inch too long for the little wheels. In its stock state, the bike was very tippy on the kickstand, so Mike very kindly cut it down an inch for me, and now it’s perfect. That is to say he cut the kickstand, not the bike. Plus he shortened the seat post by 2″ for me because I needed that a little lower than it could go. Thanks, Mike!
Thanks also to Martina and Tyler for always being wonderful - you guys are the best. And I’m sorry to have kept you late AGAIN last night! Seriously, you should lock the doors if you see me coming any later than 4:30!
Tomorrow’s the Big Day, so today I stopped by to say Hi to the Clever Cycles Gang, and just see if there was anything to see. And there was! Turns out they’ve hired a new guy, named Colin, and he gets the honor of building my BD. I say honor because it’s a super fine BD, not because it’s mine.
So I went over to the CC, met Colin (look how adorable he is, posing for me), stood around chatting and petting the BD, snapped a few pics with the trusty old iPhone, chastised all of them for not participating in the World Naked Bike Ride, and just had a fun time there as usual. And by the way, one CC employee DID partake of the WNBR. Yay to you, my friend!
Tomorrow at lunch I’ll take my old saddle and pedals over for installation on the BD. It’s not that I couldn’t install them myself, it’s just that I know Colin will want to test ride his work, and pedals and saddle will help. We’re getting there! I’m scheduled to pick it up Wednesday night. I have a stupid meeting from 12 to 5 that day, can you believe it? I’m going to try to duck out as early as possible; I hate when I get to CC late, and keep them there while they’re trying to close. I’m sure they hate that, too. Sorry, CC
Edit: Tomorrow is not the Big Day, tomorrow is the Big Day Eve. Apparently I’m too excited to know the difference.
Another Edit: No wait, tomorrow IS the Big Day. My god, somebody build up that bike and give it to me before I have a stroke trying to figure out where I am!
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Portland is the greatest city on earth. Where else can you ride your bike, naked, with 2000 of your closest friends? And if they weren’t your friends before, they certainly are now. Here’s how it all went down:
Girlfriend calls up, says, We are so doing the naked bike ride tomorrow. No, I say. What? It’ll be so much fun! No. I don’t want to be naked in public; no way, I am firmly standing my ground and cannot be convinced. Well, it’ll be dark, and you don’t even have to be completely naked if you don’t want. You don’t even have to be naked at all, in fact. Really? OK, then.
So we rode bikes all day long, mostly on a super cool tour of urban edible gardens, and then over to Col. Summers Park to watch the Stumptown Joustdown, got completely wore out and sun burnt. Then we took a nap. At 8:00 she woke me up because we had to go to REI to get her a bike light for the ride. At that point, I had a sunburn fever and was freezing to death. Noooooo, I don’t wanna go anymore! I’m freezing and sleepy! Leave me alone! Nope, get your ass out of bed and get dressed ’cause we’re going. <More whining, moaning, groaning, bitching from me.> But I slumped out of bed and bundled up like I was on my way to the Iditarod, and off we went.
By the time we got to REI, just before they closed, I was feeling slightly better but not much. After REI we went to Vivace to hang out and I had an iced latte (I know, why would I have that when I’m freezing?). Then I had a hot licorice tea (better). We left Vivace around 11 and headed out to the ride’s starting place in some warehouse on Industrial Ave. Wasn’t hard to find, since there was a steady stream of bikes going that way. I started perking up when I saw the hundreds if not thousands of bikes and people there, and heard the music pumping inside. We did a quick tour of the place, then got in line for beer. I only had one beer, but I think it was that one beer that helped me decide that since I was doing the ride, I might as well do it right. Yes, I would go all the way - fully naked! Thank you, Fat Tire. The high temperature inside probably helped a bit, too; it made me forget how cold it was outside. More of a willing suspension of belief than a forgetting, really.
Soon the call went out to gather at the starting line. We found our bikes, put our clothes in the Freeloaders, and headed off! Off to stand around with our bikes in the street for 10 or 15 minutes, that is. That’s when I learned how cold a top tube can get. It was 48° F outside, and the only way to keep warm was to ring my bell constantly. At least, I told myself that I was warmer when ringing the bell. And no, that’s not a euphemism for anything.
At long last we got moving. Yaaaaaaay! We hooped and hollered up the hill and down the other side. Little groups of people were gathered to watch on every corner. Cars happily honked at us and people cheered and whistled. The closer we got to downtown, the more people there were. By the time we hit Burnside and maybe 10th, the streets were totally lined with supporters. People were lining the streets and even the left turn lanes in some cases, holding out their hands to be slapped just like they do on the Tour de France. There was also the occasional moron in the middle of the street. I almost smashed a photographer who was crouched in the center lane - hello! Anyway, I felt like some kind of returning war hero from an old movie, and half expected ticker tape to rain down on us.
The ride crossed the Hawthorne Bridge, then looped back to the party warehouse in NW. L and I decided not to loop, and just rode home. This was a whole new adventure because then we were Independently Naked and riding in our own neighborhood! Woo, talk about feeling free! Cops saw us and didn’t say anything. People saw us and said, Holy Shit! One guy yelled Gay Pride Weekend! Well, yeah, but it’s just a coincidence. 
So the moral of this story is this: if you think you don’t want to do this next year, do it.
Look, now I have three kids! OK, they’re not all mine. But they kind of look like they match, so I could pretend they’re all mine. For half a second until their parents figure out my clever ruse. Anyway, here we all are, going for a ride around the strip mall sidewalk. There are 140 lbs of kids on the deck, 30 lbs of dog food in one freeloader, and 7 lbs of dog pee cleaner in the other freeloader. I was really impressed with how the bike handled, although I didn’t put it to a very strenuous test on the strip mall sidewalk. I was even more impressed with how all 3 kids held on, didn’t squiggle, and didn’t fight. Amazing! Life on the X is fun!
And maybe more. But of the half dozen or so bike shops I visited while I was visiting, three rocked and the rest were lame. These are the good ones, in order of closest to our sleeping quarters to farthest.
Now, I judge bike shops by how friendly and chatty the workers in them are. And how helpful. And what kind of stuff they stock. And how pushy they aren’t.
One weird thing, though, is that apparently Vancouver has no XtraCycles. No one is a dealer. No one owns one. That I saw, anyway. People were always stopping me and asking what kind of amazingly cool contraption I was riding. Naturally, I was happy to proselytize, as I am a born evangelist. Portland is where it’s at for the X, people!
Yep, I’m ashamed to admit it, but we rode the Polar Bear Killer to Canada, and carried the bikes on the back of it. You Know Who had a conference to attend, and I justified the drive by rationalizing that she was going to drive anyway, so my tagging along had minimal impact. Still…
I did ride my bike everywhere I could while there. I say “everywhere I could” because Sweetie had a nasty infection in her foot and couldn’t ride for the first couple days. I spent my days riding around exploring the city - more to come on that later and earlier.
One day last week, when I was in Vancouver, BC for vacation, I walked up to Benny’s Italian Market on the corner of Princess and Union, in the neighborhood of Strathcona. I think they should rename the place to “Benny’s on Princess,” but that’s beside the point. The point is that I sat outside on that corner for about an hour waiting for my beloved to come home (it’s only a half block from where we were staying, and I figured she’d ride her bike right by me if I sat there long enough), and ate some pistachios and kalamata olives. I noticed that tons of people were going by on bikes, so I thought it would be fun to take all their pictures with my iPhone. Click the picture to see the entire set at Flickr. If you want to. No pressure. Your life will be enriched if you do, though.
Four loads, and room for tons more. The dogs are unimpressed, but I am not.
Just wanted to share.
You may know it as Beltane, May Day, International Workers’ Day, RSS Awareness Day, or maybe even One Month Till Sue’s Birthday Day. But henceforth, May 1st shall be known as Biscuit & Lightning Memorial Ride Day.
Yes, I am sad to report that Biscuit & Lightning have left this earthly paradise and are now simultaneously swimming in the great cosmic wave of unconsciousness and taking a dirt nap in the front yard.
Since Biscuit & Lightning were so beloved of our family, it seemed only natural to take their dead little bodies on a Memorial Ride. So we strapped them onto the back of the X and headed off to a nearby Pizzacato for dinner, where we sat outside and feasted while they waited patiently in their casket on the bike. Our next stop was Dairy Queen, where we again kept a loving eye on them as we ingested copious amounts of ice cream that doesn’t melt when you put it in hot chocolate.
This ride was a first and a last for little Biscuit & Lightning. It was something they never got to do when they were alive, and a real treat for them after they were dead. In fact, they enjoyed it so much that I’m thinking about doing the same thing with my dogs if they ever die.
Now that Biscuit & Lightning are buried, we can’t unbury them, so they will not be joining us on future Biscuit & Lightning Memorial Rides. Rest assured though, Dear Reader, that future Biscuit & Lightning Memorial Rides will be taken. Every May 1st, for as long as we feel like it, we shall ride in memorium of Biscuit & Lightning. If you would like to join future Biscuit & Lightning Memorial Rides, let us know, as we may consider opening the rides to the public. The first Biscuit & Lightning Memorial Ride was kept private at the request of the family, but that may change next year.
Rest in Peace, Biscuit & Lightning.
“Oh my god, Sue, I love this!”
It will be made out of a Marin Novato, and is on order from, of course, Clever Cycles. Shout out to Martina, Tyler and Todd for all their help and advice!
Last weekend (I know, I’m way behind), a guy said that to me at New Seasons. I said, “I love you,” and instantly forgave him for calling me Lady. That was the day that we took the kids on the first of many epic weekend rides. And by epic weekend rides, I mean easy little jaunts around Portland. We rode over the Hawthorn Bridge to Tom McCall Waterfront Park, had a picnic, took a couple turns through the fountain, went over the Steel Bridge, and back up home Clinton. It was a super fun day, and riding through the fountain was my favorite part.
Yesterday was National Take Your Kid to Work Day, and I took one. By bike, natch! We rode 2.6 miles there and 4 miles home. She was a trooper, and I’m very proud of her. I was on my Xtracycle, natch, and she was on her Specialized Hotrock, which is a totally awesome bike. Reminds me of my very first mountain bike, a Specialized Rockhopper. Which I LOVED. Which was STOLEN by very bad evil people. GRRRRR.
I chose a new route for this very special commute: 30th to Ankeny to 12th. It was quite lovely, and only required us to go one block on 12th to get to the office. I might start using it on a regular basis. We still had to cross busy streets without lights, but no one hurled any abuse at us.
The kid did a great job of following orders and stopping and starting when appropriate; I think she’ll turn out to be a fine upstanding Portland bike rider. Now if only I could train all the Portland car drivers…
Or so screamed the long-honking Suburban driver on Northbound 12th Ave. this morning. He seemed to have a pretty strong egoic attachment to that thought. The screaming happened as I passed him - in my own lane - when he was stopped in traffic, after he had passed me - in my own lane. Hmmm, which of us was driving according to the traffic laws? That’s right: me. Which one of us made an illegal pass? Yep: him. Who’s what’s wrong with this city? Neither of us: there’s room for everybody here.
This kind of thing happens to me most days on Northbound 12th Ave. between Hawthorne and Burnside. I’m beginning to think that driver education is what’s needed most for bicycle safety. Both automobile and bicycle drivers need educating. I could go on about all the jackassery I see bikers doing, but I think my boss is almost here, and he’s bringing me bagels this morning. Later!
Notice anything different? From the last post, I mean. YES! Good noticing! It’s the foot pegs! They’re badass, huh? And have you noticed that all the new accessories are steel? Of course you have. Steel is real, baby. As you know. Because you are smart. Real smart.
DIGRESSION ALERT!
What’s up with that radio ad that goes, “Save a buck on a truck?” One dollar is not a huge incentive for me to buy a truck. Or maybe ‘a buck’ is slang for one hundred dollars. Still not enough incentive, though. Then later in the ad they say, “save a quarter on all trucks.” Whaaaaat? Now it’s only twenty-five cents off? JMnJ, that is just not going to cut it, people! Good thing I already have the Mini Trooper and don’t need a $37,999.75 truck. Live free or drive and all that. Bicycle Lifestyle, yeah! OK, that wasn’t TOO much of a digression - I managed to bring it back around. I’m good. Just like you, Dear Reader. Real Good. Worthy of Init Caps Good.
So the foot pegs had a previous life (if only they could talk…sigh) as bar ends. Turns out they fit perfectly on the Free Radical uprights. Or would I say they’re on the H-Racks? Hang on while I go look that up…. I’m back. Looks like the proper term would be V-Rack. OK, so the foot pegs are on the V-Racks. Why are they called V-Racks? They’re not shaped like a V. Anyway, when I took the “V-Racks” off the Free Radical, I found a little rust (all of this is documented on Flickr) on their ends so I lubed them before replacing them. I put pieces of a 700c slime tube over them after installation. I didn’t know it was a slime tube until I cut it and it slimed me. It was new old stock from my drawer o’ bike stuff (slash entertainment center); I don’t have a used one. I figure the tubes will make the pegs less slippery and more waterproof. The tube ends are tucked in, then stretched back over the peg ends - they look like belly buttons. Slimy belly buttons.
My [sic] kids now have the super coolest ride in town. BMX stoker bars! These were the brilliant idea of Tim from A Better Cycle. If you haven’t been there, ride on over right now, ’cause they’re probably open. They have more hours than any other bike store in the universe. Plus they’re way helpful and cool. And cheap!
But let’s get back to talking about the coolest stoker bars EVER. I have to be careful now as I swing my leg over the bike, but it’s a small price to pay for beauty. They’re attached by a plain ole threadless stem and no shimming was necessary.
I also got a pair of bar ends to use as foot pegs, which I will install soon and very soon.
Whoever is lucky enough to get a ride on my X will be the envy of all, the belle of the ball, the grandest lady in the easter parade, and featured in the rotogravure for sure. For sure!
That’s a new song I made up today on my way home from that place I go 4 days a week, give or take. You’ll have to figure out the tune for yourself - it’s jazz, and I wouldn’t begin to know the chords.
I’m totally pervious to the weather today. Everything is beautiful (in its own way) and I could not be happier about it. Even my impending weekend of work cannot divert my pleasure train today. Nope, I’m pervious to the sunshine, and impervious to cloud cover. If the clouds were made out of plants, we’d have cloud clover.
Riding in the snow
Riding in the snow
We shall come rejoicing
Riding in the snow!
Ah, snow glorious snow. It’s snowing today! In Portland! And I got to ride to work AND to Boot Camp in it! I’m so happy! Here’s a shot of my bike unceremoniously parked by the dumpster outside One With Heart waiting patiently for me to ride it to work. The iPhone couldn’t quite capture the snow, but trust me, it’s there.
And here’s another shot of the view from ‘my’ window at work. Again, hard to see the snow, I know, but it’s very exciting in person. If you live here, you know what I mean. Unless you’re one of those people. You know, the big whiny babies who complain about the weather, and especially about the snow. Waaah! Get off yer ass and ride yer damn bike - you’ll be warmer that way.
You know, I really do. I get to ride my bike to work every day. Three times a week, that commute includes going to Boot Camp. Either way, the air is fresh, and the scenery beautiful. The ride beautifies my mind, body and soul.
And the people! Just about every time I get on my bike, somebody stops to talk to me about it. Yesterday, I got compliments from the guy who stands on the corner of Burnside, 12th and Sandy - you may know who I’m talking about - the one with the “My wife has MS” sign. He thought my bike was pretty cool and we had a little chat about it. Then on my way home, while I was stopped at the light at 12th & Lloyd, a hot chick stopped to chat with me. Seems she has been wanting an Xtracycle for awhile, and had never seen one in person. She stood really close to me while we chatted, and she even petted me a little (oooh!). The light changed a few times while we stood there, and we moved over to let cars to go around us.
And then there’s my bike itself. That thing was scheduled for the Good Will until I finally decided to Xtrafy it. (Of course, now I know that there are better places to donate a used bike.)
[[ an aside: I'm listening to Sledge Hammer by Peter Gabriel right now, and I'm pretty sure I heard a sound that has been adopted by Survivor. I should Google that. ]]
Where were we? Oh yeah, the bike. Yep, it’s a cheapy Trek 930 that I paid two hundred bucks for 10 years ago. I never really liked it. NOW, though, it rocks. It can haul tons of crap, key components have been upgraded (saddle, grips, seat post binder, pedals, cassette) and now it’s a pretty good little (huge) commuter. I don’t think there’s much more I need to do to it except to replace the brake pads, which I’ve already bought. I was thinking about going full XT, but I don’t really have the money, and now with the new cassette, it’s shifting much better.
So, in short (not), my life is good. I have a great bike or three, a good job or three, excellent family, friends and acquaintences. I live in Portland, which totally rocks. I get to ride my bike a LOT, and in doing so, I get to seriously enjoy the journey. The journey IS the destination - that’s so true.
Sheesh. IE is dumb. Really dumb. Seriously, dear Windows readers, do yourselves a favor and switch to Firefox or Opera or Sarari. It’ll be like getting glasses for the first time!
That makes 10.5 miles on the new saddle. Is it broken in yet? It probably is. They say 50 to 100 miles, but that’s for the average person. I’m sure I’m at least ten times better than average, so my saddle’s done now. Whew, glad to have that over with.
I put Dr. Marten’s Wonder Balsam on it just now because I had it on hand. It’s a wax-based leather conditioner, likely very similar to Proofide which is what Brooks makes and sells. Forgot to put it on last night.
That saddle is so beautiful.
The dogs and I rode over to the park for a little picnic today. And by rode, I mean I rode and they ran. And by picnic I mean I chuckered the ball and they ran. They’re tired. I’m saving my strength for a ride to Petco, home from which I will haul mass quantities of Organix dog food, which is not only organic, but made locally, and buying it makes me a good person.
PS This photo has been cropped to protect the innocent. And by cropped I mean I took it that way on purpose.
Welcome to my new theme. It’s my first WordPress theme ever. I call it “One.” Clever, huh?
Note that if this page does not resemble the screenshot shown here, then I must have moved on to another theme. OR, you might be using the extremely lame and buggy Internet Explorer, where it doesn’t work as of right this second. I’ll have to work on that later, though, because right now I’m starving.
So would you let me know what you think of One, please? I wouldn’t be surprised if I missed something.
You know what would be cool? Subtitles. Maybe I’ll work on a plugin for them. Or maybe there already is one. Hmmm.
I love Bob Seger, but here I’m referring to my new Brooks B17 Honey saddle. Yep, it pretty much feels like riding a rock. A small rock. A small, slippery rock. Only 50 to 100 miles and it’ll break in and form to my butt! Then it’ll feel like solid muscle, ’cause that’s what my butt is. Like a small, slippery mass of solid muscle that looks hot in tight jeans with a wallet in its back pocket. Yeah, that’s exactly what it’ll look like.
I decided to ride home for lunch today to eat some Amy’s Frozen Stuff, let the dogs out, and watch Gillian McKeith. That was a good decision because it was fun. Except for the ride home, which sucked moose balls in hell. bycycle.org recommended it; I hereby unrecommend it. There’s a stop sign at almost every block! Plus you have to cross Burnside, Morrison and Belmont without a light. Yuck. File that under “now you know.”
Am I the only entrant in the Find the Worst Route from 42nd & Hawthorne to 12th & Lloyd contest? ‘Cause if so, I win.
This morning I loaded up my laptop and gym bag and headed out to my Sunrise Boot Camp class at One With Heart Tulen Center. After class, I remembered that I had forgotten to plan a route from there to work. Hmmm, I’ll just meander, I guess. Slowly, trying not to sweat. Somehow, I managed to ride on just about every busy non-bike-laned road between here and there. Stark, Sandy, 12th, you name it. WTF was I thinking?
Well, I was just complaining yesterday about how short my commute was, wasn’t I? The other up side was that I discovered Ecomotion - this place will definitely require further investigation!
Rode the X to work today, IN THE RAIN! That’s a first for me. Or, it would have been, had it actually been raining. But I THOUGHT it was raining. It sounded like rain from inside my apartment. So I donned my old crappy non-breathable snow pants (because I still can’t find my beloved Goretex XCR pants) and my spiffy new safety orange jacket that I got over the weekend at Clever Cycles, put the orange lenses in my sunglasses, and off I went into the fairly warm and not raining morning.
Riding is so much fun that I’m starting to want to move back to the other side of Mt. Tabor just so I can cross it on the way to work. My commute is too short now at 2.6 miles.
I’m also happy to report that today I had no pain in the lady parts. Yay - it only took a few days to get over the “I - haven’t - been - riding - in - many - months - diaper - rash.”
Here’s a picture of my jacket and helmet hanging on my cube. If you see anyone riding around dressed like this, wave - it might be me!
OK, why can’t I have any freaking paragraphs in WordPress? WTF? What looks like paragraphs in the WYSIWYG editor gets rendered inline, and if I try putting p or br tags in the code, they’re stripped out. Grrrrrrr.
